I knew telling our family and friends would be difficult and it was. Watching my mother in law cry and say we are taking her babies away was heart breaking. My mom was more understanding and has continued to be supportive but I worry she will crumble when the time comes to actual leave. My in laws were very much in denial up until a few weeks ago when my husbands aunt, our champion, called me to confirm we are going because her sister seemed to think other wise. I feel like we have had to break their heart more than once because they did not want to accept that this was happening. I hate that. Plenty of friends and family have come out in total support, understanding, and even wishing they could make the same choice. Friends we made a year ago have become like family to us, and I quote “we have found lightening in a bottle.” She was the one trying to make sense of why we would do this, leaning into my unhappiness in my career, finding my purpose. Being a new friend she did not realize that I have been on this path to relocation for years. My oldest and closest friends have always known this was going to happen eventually. We had a conversation the other day that I believe made her fully understand. I had messaged her that the panic was setting in. She took that as me not being able to make the choice to stay out of fear of what others will think. It came from a good place and I told her three years ago she would be correct. I was a yes person, I hosted and did all of the things to bring the magic. It was exhausting and left me completely empty and drained. My panic came from the task list that still waiting and the desire to spend as much time with people as possible for the next two months. TWO MONTHS! Insane to think about. We have finally told our friends at the dance studio and was met with tears from the younger kids as well as from some adults. Mostly jaw drops and asking “Why” or “where is croatia?” lol Having told everyone that we love, that is important to us, I feel freer. The responses have been mostly positive; “You guys are crazy but if anyone can do it, its you.” “Can I come with you? I would love to flee this country too, lol”, “We will miss you so much but what a great opportunity for the kids.” Then of course you have the stack of questions understandably so, do you have a job?, what will Ruben do?, how are the schools? How long will you stay? How much does it cost? etc etc. I answer to best of my ability and keep it moving. Our decision has not wavered. I saw everything through stages or phases. Phase one was having discussions over and over with Ruben about can we, should we and will it work. Once those were figured out then we brought the kids into the conversation. Their opinion is so important and we have always discussed things as a family. Emotional rollercoaster for the weeks after but that turned to excitement and they began planning. Phase three was real research, not the fun vacation style research but detailed research. Insurance, taxes, documents, schools, work etc Expat Croatia website really helped answer a lot of questions. Next phase was telling our families in the fall of 2025 and then friends scattered over the next few months. In the next post, I will discuss saying goodbye to our home and neighborhood and transitioning to my parents house. In the words of Ted Lasso, Stay curious, never Judgemental.
Love,
Nycole